Well, here I am at another Today when I just finished my Today from yesterday.
All night, I sought to gain another tax refund from a previous year, only to find it was done properly back then. There is satisfaction in that, though some extra funds would have been exceedingly welcome.
Today, I am thinking in a practical, objective fashion. These times must come so that final arrangements are considered and decided. My husband's and step-son's remains were both cremated. The son's cremains were interred at the "Family" cemetery, called thus because a large number of my husband's relatives are buried or memorialized there. They were a respected farming family with much community responsibility and connections. When my step-son passed away a few years ago, my husband wanted his cremains buried near family, and had hoped for a family section representing our part of his family. We had not accomplished that before my husband's passing.
No life insurance and no financial planning. This state of affairs has prevented a cemetery plot as was desired by my husband--having his immediate family's set of plots in the "Family" cemetery--where Father and Son could have their earthly remains at rest side-by-side, as well as other family members who might want the same. We can put my husband's cremains in the same grave site as his son's, since two sets of cremains may be buried in one plot. Even putting two sets in one cremains' vault is allowed at this cemetery. However, there would not be enough room to have another plot for me or for the family headstone to be erected. Of course, we learned after using a cremains vault that the Family cemetery did not require one as we were told by the funeral home.
It does pay to educate oneself in advance about all of the details of settling ones remains whether or not they are cremated. Funeral directors are not required to give full disclosure about all of the options a family has. The Family cemetery sextant has been as helpful as a funeral director in many aspects. Maybe, by physical Spring, I could save enough to buy the double plot or more, then we could have the son disinterred and both father and son interred at the same time into a new cemetery location for the family. Some of my husband's cremains will be interred at a National Cemetery to honor his service, but he wanted to also have his remains with the majority of his family, so that's why the need to purchase. This decision is thanks to one of my brothers for his sensible thoughts when I was in a quandary about my husband's unsettled wishes about either the National Cemetery or the family one. Doing both is something we can do to honor both his wishes.
For those who desire cremation, BioGift is a medical research supplier who works with individuals and families to allow a person's remains to be donated for medical research. BioGift arranges to have the body transported from place of death, whether home or hospital, without cost, to be flown to their medical facility in Oregon. After BioGift has arranged for the remains to be used for research as needed, the unused remains are cremated and returned within a couple of weeks to the family to do with as they wish. The ONLY cost to the family is the cost of death certificates. All other expenses are paid by BioGift until the family receives the cremains. After that, how and where the family keeps or inters the cremains is the family's responsibility. There are some rules about whether or not a person's body will be acceptable to BioGift, but most peoples' remains are able to be accepted.
Donating is a great gift in the service of humanity. To offer one's body for medical research may help many others to have better lives. The financial benefits simply make it easier to make the decision, one which both my husband and I decided to do. This also relieves the family of many concerns. Without the need to rush decisions, a memorial service can happen at any time when the family is able to come together.
Also, keep in mind that any sturdy receptacle can be used if the family wishes to bury or keep the cremains. It does not need to be something labeled specifically for cremains. Those containers are quite expensive from a funeral home or site online. Something with a sealable top is recommended, even though the cremains are sealed, but no sense tempting any future casual prankster if it is sitting on the mantle. Of course, the family may decide to purchase a very expensive container or urn, but it isn't necessary. The receptacle can be expensive or not, all according to the needs or desires of the individual or family. If the cremains will be cast into nature, then a nice keepsake container could be used to transport the cremains to the site, then saved for the family's sake after the cremains are dispersed.
Some individuals make their final plans and desires known explicitly in detail. Others leave it for the family to decide or simply don't have time to make the decisions they might like. In that case, a person's general demeanor and lifestyle should dictate or suggest final disposition. Memorial services, grave-sites and final dispositions are for the living, so anything that reminds them of their loved one's good traits will help with grief.
Today may bring more practical thoughts as it wears through the hours.
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